Monday, February 25, 2008

Life Experiences

I've been subbing for the past week and a half and it has been one of the most boring classes that I've had. I did kindergarten a lot and I totally loved them. Their activities were so fun and interactive and I was always doing something with them. Unfortunatley, this time it's with 2nd graders and the teacher just has me giving them packet after packet, which is pretty boring for both them, and me!

Needless to say, I've done my fair share of blog hopping this past week, and I love to read other peoples blogs. It's so fun to hear about everyones stories. While Kyle and I were on our way to Hawaii, he told me that he loves being at the airport and wondering what everyones stories are. Where is that guy going? Where's that one coming from? It's fun to hear everyones stories and their different experiences.

The biggest experience that I've seen is, by far, people having children and how happy they make them. It makes me happy to see all these proud moms, and makes me sad at the same time that I'm not a mom. I had a miscarriage about a month ago and it's true when people say that it gets harder as time goes on. It's hard to see all these people saying how fun it is to be pregnant, and knowing that I would have been about 17 weeks now. I was telling Kyle the other day how if we were still pregnant, we would be able to find out what we were having in a few weeks! That would have been so exciting. I know these things happen for a reason, and now I'll definitely be able to sympathize with someone else when it happens to them... but like Kyle's brother told us, it's definitely not a club that you want to be included in.


Brent & Jodie said...

Oh sweetie...I just sat here crying reading your post. I am now a Mom and I am so thankful for my beautiful children. But there is still that feeling of what if. If our one baby that we miscarried had been born, he or she would be seven in April. I can't imagine having a seven year old. I can also totally relate to seeing others who are pregnant or have kids and although you're thrilled for them, you can't help be a bit sad for your self. It is totally natural. You are right, these things do happen for a reason. If we could have kids naturally, we wouldn't have our three amazing kids now. It doesn't always make the pain go away but it does help me see that Heavenly Father is in control and has a plan for our family. I promise He has one for you as well. I'm always here if you need to talk. It is a terrible club to belong to but know that you are not alone. :)

Carbonneau said...

Alli, I wish there was a way someone could say something to make it all better. But I hope you know how much we love you and how much your nephews ADORE YOU! You ARE GOING TO BE the best Mom! Heavenly Father knows what's in store for you and I am sure the wait will be rewarded!

on another note, I was blog hopping and Kyle always talks about Lane, and I don't think I have ever seen him, so I checked out his blog. I thought it was funny when he said...He went to his "first area in Voronezh. That cathedral was being built when I was here and is still not done. Lack of funds apparently." ALL I WANTED TO SAY WAS...HAVE YOU HEARD OF LA SAGRADA FAMILIA!?! lol. Last I heard the finish date was 2020...and that was 6 years ago.
anyhow, just thinking of Barcelona...I bet you drift down that memory lane often.

nalder said...

I can only imagine how hard that has to be. The Lord definitely has a plan for you and this is probably making you a much stronger person, well much stronger than I am! But I know you don't want to hear that.. I'm sorry for your loss.

Chris and Jerrae said...

Alli I'm so heart hurts for you.You are so strong and an example to us all.